My First Major Life Lesson

I still find it hard saying these words and believing them: My mom is fighting cancer.

It seems surreal saying that. CANCER. I don't think it has completly sunk in...and I don't know if it ever will.

She was diagnosed way back in October...and although it has been almost 6 months of recovery, there are plenty more months to look ahead. My mom had a major surgery a week ago, and my spring break luckily happened to fall on the day she came home. Seeing her this week has made me decide that my mom truly is the strongest woman I know- and I know your all saying to yourselves that this is the cliche story of the parent who fights through cancer- But honestly, she is my role model because she never seeks out the negative. Only the positive. She keeps her head held high, even on those bad days.

At not even a 100 pounds, my mom is frail and weak. She struggles to get out of bed and sit up. Her diet is mainly liguid or soft foods. I never have even seen my mother with the cold or flu ....so this horrifies me.

  And the hardest thing of all, is my mom HATES asking for help. All my mothers' life, she has never been taken care of.She is SELFLESS.  SHE is the caregiver. So for her, she is mortified to even ask for help- even though everyone would gladly love the opportunity to. My mom is pushing herself so much as to maintain her dignity, and I only wish she will learn that many people love her and it is OKAY to have help.

So i'm going back to school in 3 days. And I won't be able see my mother until the end of May. 2 months. And I don't think I can handle it. I just want to be with her, helping her. And going to school and having fun in my own different reality, I feel guilty because everyone back home is stuck with the gloom that surrounds the "C" word. 

My mother hates the fact that I worry. She tells me she knows I love her, and she just wants me to keep living my life. But I can't. I miss her. The woman who was there for me, who tied my shoes, who packed my lunches, who always sacrificed her happiness for mine is suffering. And I can't even be with her. I know me being with her can't change the outcome. But I still can't see the fairness in this whole situation. But life isn't fair, is it?

I have amazing friends and family who are all helping me through this. And it hurts to know that as much as this is hurting me, I couldnt even begin to imagine the pain and fear my mother is experiencing.

I love my mom. and from this experience I have learned to never take someone for granted. Never stop forgetting and appreciating those who surround you. Because you never realize what you truly have, or realize how lucky you truly are, until those loved ones of yours can be taken away from you. 

I also want to leave you with this: the true value in life is not measured by things but by the people who are in it. My mother has told me that she hadn't realized how much of an impact she has made on her friends, family, and community until her illness. She never felt more loved and appreciated. Our house is filled with flowers and cards, our fridge filled with meals prepared my family and friends. Visitors are constantly checking in, making sure their dearest mother, daughter, cousin, sister, and friend is merely smiling. Because my mom has a smile that can light up ANY room. Her love radiates to everyone she meets- a quality I admire so dearly.

So LIFE LESSON #1: Never wait until something bad happens to appreciate things. Everyday, analyze everything you have and enjoy it. And on those bad days when those little things start to dissapoint you, remember things could be worse. MUCH worse.    

A Dash of Inspiring Words for the Weekend

I've learnt that...

• you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
• no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
• it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
• it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
• you can do something in an instant that will give you a heartache for life.
• no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
• you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
• we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
• there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
• true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
• just because someone doesnt love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
• maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
• no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
• no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
• just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
• we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
• you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
• there are many ways of falling and staying in love.
• no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.
• the people you care most about in life are taken from you to soon.
• although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.
• love is not for me to keep, but to pass on to the next person I see.
• there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
• even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
• every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
• I still have a lot to learn......

- Anonymous

Everything will be okay.

YOU.

You. Yes, you. I am writing this for you.

I know you are reading this. And I want you to know I am writing this for you. No one else will understand. No one else knows. They think that this is for them. But it’s not. I am writing this for you.

I want you to know, life…it’s hard. Every day can be a challenge. It can be a challenge to get up in the morning. To get yourself out of bed. To put on that smile. But I want you to know, that smile is what keeps me going some days. You need to remember, even through the tough times, you are amazing. You really are.
You should be happy. You are gorgeous.

I know that the weather might not be perfect. You might have to turn your back to the wind or feel the cold nipping at your nose. But you know what, at least you are there to feel it. At least you can enjoy the sun’s warm rays on your face. Or that cold February wind biting at your cheeks. You know what that means?

You are alive.

Everything will be okay.

Updates in a Constantly Updated World

I have a confession. I am addicted to this blog. I just have so much I want to share, and it's so new and exciting that I can't help but post post post. Im constantly updating! Speaking of updating, I have an AWESOME site to always keep you updated with the universe. Its called: http://whenitdrops.com/

They update you on movie, music, dvd, game, and book releases daily- and you also have the ability to see ratings, and buy tickets! SUPER HANDY. Its super easy to stay updated with the universe now. So when that guy you like mentions that new movie coming out today, you don't need to pretend you know what he's talking about while you whip out your iphone and secretly google it. You ACTUALLY will know what he is talking about.

5 Ways to Network and Make Friends in College

 

By CC Staff

It is in human nature to steer away from things that make us feel uncomfortable or uncertain. However, when new to a college campus it can be hard to find one’s niche. And even for many that have been on the college campus for years, they find themselves meandering around with the same individuals that they were friends with Freshmen year.

It is important to step outside of these comfort zones in order to shape and create a larger friend base that can aid you in the future, especially when looking for work. It’s not hard to accomplish this; it just takes a few steps to succeed in being a social giant.

Switch It Up
Although it is very easy to be a part of the same organizations that you have been a part of for your entire life, it is more beneficial to branch out to various organizations that have different backgrounds, connections, and client bases than your own. For example, even if you are not politically driven it may be rather prudent to join Young Republicans, Campus Democrats, etc. Or on the flip-side, if you have been a part of a politically affiliated organization for a long time, then maybe you should switch it up and join the Adventure Club or Fencing Club. By doing this, your face and name gain recognition across demographics.

Approach the Unfamiliar
Oftentimes people get so wrapped up in their own lives that they forget that there are six billion other people on the planet. Yes, friendships are amazing, especially the lifelong ones. However, someone that you have known since pre-school will not vanish if you do not hang out with them for a couple days. Be approachable and approach those that you don’t know. For example, if someone is wearing a shirt that says “Combat Airsoft” you may feign interest in order to spark a conversation which could lead to a friendship. No one ever got anywhere by staying in their shell, and neither should you.

Be Openly Interesting
Too many times people complain about not having friends but are completely closed off and don’t let others in. If you expect to make real connections with people, it is important that they are given a sense of disclosure. By disclosing information, people have various ways to remember you in the future. And furthermore, being interesting is beneficial to attraction. People typically would rather be friends with someone that they find interesting, than someone dull.  If for some reason the friendship dies, it is important to leave an impression that will stick. And this is often done by disclosing a very interesting part of you.

Market Yourself
The era in which business cards were only for the elite has passed. Anyone who is interested in networking and creating friendships should utilize business cards. Oftentimes college campuses allow students to order business cards for next to nothing.  After a conversation with someone, it may be prudent to hand them a business card. It is less personal than putting their number in your phone, but is still informal enough that they will be comfortable phoning, emailing, etc. As long as the connection is established, keeping in touch is how it is maintained.

Maybe business cards aren’t your style, and for many it isn’t. One of the greatest tools for networking and social development is social networking sites (hence the name). Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, and Twitter have revolutionized the way that many of us keep in contact with one another. Don’t be afraid to accept people that you may have only spoken with a few times. The main focus is to try establishing connections with people in such a way that they will remember you in the future; better yet, never let the relationship die.

Don’t Hide in the Shadows
This is the most important of the listed suggestions. It is very important that people see you often. There is nothing wrong with having lunch on campus once a week or studying someplace with a flow of traffic. By making yourself more visible, in turn, it makes you more accessible. When you are a recurring figure within people’s lives, they feel obliged to know you, and a conversation is inevitable.  Even if you are a member of a million campus organizations and you make it rain business cards every day, it all means nothing if your face is not present.

Being able to balance all of the aforementioned suggestions in addition to studies, intramurals, jobs, and organizations, is a very difficult skill and oftentimes it seems as if there aren’t enough hours in the day. By no means should you feel worn out; these adjustments should compliment your life.  And eventually, most things will begin to come naturally.

Topics!

So today I brainstormed the different topics an all-in-one guide should cover for us girlies. This is what my creative juices came up with:

1. Food:  My mother is an amazing cook- growing up with those mouth watering scents lingering every afternoon STILL make my stomach grumble. Now that I'm in college, I need to start cooking for myself.And lets be honest, our generation needs some help in the kitchen area- who really wants to live off pb&j and mac and cheese? NOT ME. I want to spoil myself, and impress my friends with my iron chef skills- and on a budget. So I'm going to guide you through my cooking journeys! 
2. Friends: College is a time for friendships to grow and blossom, and a time for friendships to end. I've experienced these journies, and still have more to discover. So why not explore the complexities of finding those true friends who will be there through thick and thin.
3. Relationships: Oh yikes. The R WORD... RELATIONSHIPS. Now I am a free soul, and do not mean that girls always define themselves by a guy. NOT TRUE. But it does seem that many college girls are posed with the difficulties of relationships daily. We find oursleves asking one of the these questions: "do I want a relationship?", "why can't I find a guy?", "are we meant to be together?", or "how should I break up with him?". Guys are unique creatures, and its going to be my mission to help all you lovely darlings out there to decipher them. 
4. Quotes: So. I have an addiction... a quote addiction. Now, I know it sounds cheesy, but I believe a quote a day is important. It helps us analyze and ponder things we never do, and so I am giving you quotes. A little "chicken noodle soup for the college girls' soul" style if you will.
5. Health: Now ladies. Our bodies are our temples. Mentally, physically, and emotionally we need to be taking care of ourselves. College is stressful, and we need to fight those slumps we fall so easily into. And I want to help you get out of those slumps!
6. Academics: Tests tomrrow? Paper due next week? Confusing calculus problem keeps frustrating you? College is one big stress-fest when it comes to the courseload. It can become overwhelming, and I want to help us ladies de-stress for success!
7. Fashion:  Saved the BEST for last, right? I know at some collegeS, sweats are acceptable. In my opinion, NO! Unless if your running a marathon or sick with the flu, they are unacceptable. Now get creative, feel good about yourself, and look at fashion as an opportunity to showcase your beauty! I know in college we have a tight budget, so I am here to give inspiration and tips on how to dress the part of the FABULOUS women we are.

Cannot wait to start ladies!

<3 Ashley