Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
how to: pore strips
- I’m obsessed with beauty products
- I’m obsessed with cheap
- Homemade {mostly} = cheap. Mostly.
- Cheap Beauty = HAPPY Allison
Pore Strips Ingredients:
- 1 Tablespoon Unflavored Gelatin
- 1 1/2- 2 Tablespoons Milk {any kind}
- Measure 1 Tablespoon of unflavored gelatin into a disposable container {if you put say, green jell-o on your face, there might be trouble}
- Add 1-2 Tablespoons of milk into the gelatin
- Until it looks like this
- Mix it up, and be quick about it, until you get a chunky consistency. Add more milk if you’re uncomfortable with the amount of chunk.
This is pre-pore strip. Wash your face before you apply.
I chose to put the stuff all over my face because I have thirty-year-old acne. You can put it wherever your little heart desires. You need to act fast though, because this stuff turns to gelatin pronto. I know I’ve said that three times already, but I really mean it.
Smokin’.Let it dry for about 15+ minutes. I waited longer, but you’ll know it’s time when you can’t talk for fear of breaking something.
Grab whatever you can and start peeling. This is the gross/fun part.
It’s a good thing you can’t see the photo all that well. Do this until you’re all peeled and your face will feel like a baby’s bottom.
Clean, practically hairless, with clean, dirt-free pores.
A Honest Females' Perspective on One Night Stands
How to Have Sex With Me One Time
And what does it mean, beautiful? I guess a lot of girls are beautiful when it’s dark and their heads are all the way down there, aren’t they? Aren’t they all?
While you’re not talking, don’t ask me if I know how long you’ve wanted this. I don’t. And don’t ask me what I’m thinking. If I were thinking, there’s maybe a ten percent chance I would be here. Let me for once not think about what happened before this and what will happen next. Let me be in the moment. But if there’s a god, for his sake, do not say anything that includes the words “in the moment.”
Tell me I have great tits. Tell me you like the smell of sweat. These are small things that I can believe and I will believe them more if you show me, and believe me. All I want is to believe. Show me how you stroke your cock when you wake up in the morning and you have a little time. And show me how you like me and how you like me to to touch you and how much you want to touch me.
I’m saying: feed me cock. Not lies.
Because look, I won’t be mad if you never text me again. I’ll be mad — like crazy scorned hellcat mad — if you never text me after you, while you were getting me naked and hopefully wet, called me the best thing that’s happened to you all year. I’ll say, this is how you treat the best thing that’s happened to you all year? I’ll say, maybe my first clue should’ve been the word “thing.” Postscript: you’re a prick.
The less you promise now, the less you have to answer for later, basically; and anyway the best thing you can do with your mouth is kiss me. Everywhere. If you can kiss me and touch me at the same time: do that. Keep doing it. If you’re doing it right, you’ll hear me. For now, a little help: it helps if you don’t touch me like you’d touch a newborn or an orchid. Please, I eat; I’m not going to break. I don’t want to be handled with care. What care?
Don’t try to be good in bed. You’re not good in bed. We’re good in bed. Right, or we’re not, but let’s stay positive (not that kind of positive). We’re in this together. While it all happens you’re just a boy and I’m just a girl and we’ve been doing this since we were naked in gardens in some ancient sacral text.
Relax.
If you read it in a magazine, don’t do it.
If your ex-girlfriend liked it, do it.
I don’t mean whip out all your kinks at once. Let’s have a little mystery. Let’s not do anything that could land us in emergency because, just a guess, you’re not going to be in love with “the moment” when that moment is “please state your relationship to the patient” on an official form. Besides, I don’t need you to be different when you’re already this whole new boy in my bed. If you can’t get off on just straight-up sweat-and-vanilla fucking, you should go get professional help, and I do mean that kind of pro.
As for me, I’m trying not to be a whore. I’m not doing this for love or affection or anything in exchange. I’m doing it for the only reason anyone should ever have sex, which is: I want to. All I want to feel is want. And, yes, wantedness and wantonness. All that.
Make me cum. Again: you’ll know. Orgasms are like the price of heels at Balenciaga. If you have to ask, get the fuck out.
After that, and only after that, you’ll cum too. I mean, I’m pretty sure you will. The odds are in your favor. Then you can collapse into me and close your eyes and breathe and if you have to, I mean if you really have to, you can say I’m beautiful and I won’t say I’m not
While you’re not talking, don’t ask me if I know how long you’ve wanted this. I don’t. And don’t ask me what I’m thinking. If I were thinking, there’s maybe a ten percent chance I would be here. Let me for once not think about what happened before this and what will happen next. Let me be in the moment. But if there’s a god, for his sake, do not say anything that includes the words “in the moment.”
Tell me I have great tits. Tell me you like the smell of sweat. These are small things that I can believe and I will believe them more if you show me, and believe me. All I want is to believe. Show me how you stroke your cock when you wake up in the morning and you have a little time. And show me how you like me and how you like me to to touch you and how much you want to touch me.
I’m saying: feed me cock. Not lies.
Because look, I won’t be mad if you never text me again. I’ll be mad — like crazy scorned hellcat mad — if you never text me after you, while you were getting me naked and hopefully wet, called me the best thing that’s happened to you all year. I’ll say, this is how you treat the best thing that’s happened to you all year? I’ll say, maybe my first clue should’ve been the word “thing.” Postscript: you’re a prick.
The less you promise now, the less you have to answer for later, basically; and anyway the best thing you can do with your mouth is kiss me. Everywhere. If you can kiss me and touch me at the same time: do that. Keep doing it. If you’re doing it right, you’ll hear me. For now, a little help: it helps if you don’t touch me like you’d touch a newborn or an orchid. Please, I eat; I’m not going to break. I don’t want to be handled with care. What care?
Don’t try to be good in bed. You’re not good in bed. We’re good in bed. Right, or we’re not, but let’s stay positive (not that kind of positive). We’re in this together. While it all happens you’re just a boy and I’m just a girl and we’ve been doing this since we were naked in gardens in some ancient sacral text.
Relax.
If you read it in a magazine, don’t do it.
If your ex-girlfriend liked it, do it.
I don’t mean whip out all your kinks at once. Let’s have a little mystery. Let’s not do anything that could land us in emergency because, just a guess, you’re not going to be in love with “the moment” when that moment is “please state your relationship to the patient” on an official form. Besides, I don’t need you to be different when you’re already this whole new boy in my bed. If you can’t get off on just straight-up sweat-and-vanilla fucking, you should go get professional help, and I do mean that kind of pro.
As for me, I’m trying not to be a whore. I’m not doing this for love or affection or anything in exchange. I’m doing it for the only reason anyone should ever have sex, which is: I want to. All I want to feel is want. And, yes, wantedness and wantonness. All that.
Make me cum. Again: you’ll know. Orgasms are like the price of heels at Balenciaga. If you have to ask, get the fuck out.
After that, and only after that, you’ll cum too. I mean, I’m pretty sure you will. The odds are in your favor. Then you can collapse into me and close your eyes and breathe and if you have to, I mean if you really have to, you can say I’m beautiful and I won’t say I’m not
Monday, March 14, 2011
Topics!
So today I brainstormed the different topics an all-in-one guide should cover for us girlies. This is what my creative juices came up with:
- Food: My mother is an amazing cook- growing up with those mouth watering scents lingering every afternoon STILL make my stomach grumble. Now that I'm in college, I need to start cooking for myself.And lets be honest, our generation needs some help in the kitchen area- who really wants to live off pb&j and mac and cheese? NOT ME. I want to spoil myself, and impress my friends with my iron chef skills- and on a budget. So I'm going to guide you through my cooking journeys!
- Friends: College is a time for friendships to grow and blossom, and a time for friendships to end. I've experienced these journies, and still have more to discover. So why not explore the complexities of finding those true friends who will be there through thick and thin.
- Relationships: Oh yikes. The R WORD... RELATIONSHIPS. Now I am a free soul, and do not mean that girls always define themselves by a guy. NOT TRUE. But it does seem that many college girls are posed with the difficulties of relationships daily. We find oursleves asking one of the these questions: "do I want a relationship?", "why can't I find a guy?", "are we meant to be together?", or "how should I break up with him?". Guys are unique creatures, and its going to be my mission to help all you lovely darlings out there to decipher them.
- Quotes: So. I have an addiction... a quote addiction. Now, I know it sounds cheesy, but I believe a quote a day is important. It helps us analyze and ponder things we never do, and so I am giving you quotes. A little "chicken noodle soup for the college girls' soul" style if you will.
- Health: Now ladies. Our bodies are our temples. Mentally, physically, and emotionally we need to be taking care of ourselves. College is stressful, and we need to fight those slumps we fall so easily into. And I want to help you get out of those slumps!
- Academics: Tests tomrrow? Paper due next week? Confusing calculus problem keeps frustrating you? College is one big stress-fest when it comes to the courseload. It can become overwhelming, and I want to help us ladies de-stress for success!
- Fashion: Saved the BEST for last, right? I know at some collegeS, sweats are acceptable. In my opinion, NO! Unless if your running a marathon or sick with the flu, they are unacceptable. Now get creative, feel good about yourself, and look at fashion as an opportunity to showcase your beauty! I know in college we have a tight budget, so I am here to give inspiration and tips on how to dress the part of the FABULOUS women we are.
<3 Ashley
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)